It takes a wise woman to spot this sort out at first sight, but generally speaking, emotionally unavailable men are easier to date than to identify. Unfortunately, they are not as glaringly obvious to spot out as most would prefer, but there are a few general ideas that can be kept in mind.
First of all, the emotionally unavailable man is never alone. He surrounds himself with meaningless, short-lived relationships, despite his supposed “commitment” to them. He is never serious when it comes to these relationships, opting to be checking the field than to be tied down. Do not be fooled when he says something along the lines of “keeping my options open”, because it is simply means that he doesn’t want to be with just one person.
Second, he doesn’t know what he wants. If you take a good, long look at all his flings, they will most probably be as assorted as a pack of M&M’s. There will be no continuing trend in their personalities, or possibly even their looks. He has no idea as to what makes him tick in a woman; therefore he won’t know what’s good for him even if it were standing in front of him.
Lastly, an emotionally unavailable man cannot be convinced to change. Here lies the mistake that most women make when they date this man. They try to convince him that he is the one for them, the one that they should stay true to. It really isn’t difficult to understand this one. If he is truly interested in you, it will need no effort on your part to convince him at all. In fact, he may even be the one doing the convincing, as he knows that you are what’s good for him.
If it’s any consolation however, the emotionally unavailable man will be sending out signals for women to pick up on. These signals are pretty easy to read; it’s when women misread these signals that things go from bad to worse. Women generally pick up on the wrong signals, the most common one being mistaking a strong connection for love. This being said, it would be prudent to shift some of the focus you have on this aspect of your life elsewhere, since it will leave you with a better perspective of the situation.
In a nutshell, the emotionally unavailable man is the classic case of commitment-phobia, except he doesn’t let on as well as a genuine phobic. It is understandable if you ever do get yourself involved with this type, but knowing how to identify him will do you a lot of good. Remember also, that you are the first priority in any relationship, and what you bring yourself relates to how you perceive the relationships you get into.