I’ve learned something very valuable in all my years. Yes, I do mean all twenty-one of them. This particular lesson I’ve only learned within the last two to three years; but, I assure you, it’s a lesson shared with millions of other brave females out there. What is this lesson? Oh you know the one, it is the lesson of selflessness; obtained only after embarking upon this insanely beautiful roller coaster called: motherhood.
I should start out by saying how much I love being a mother. Understand that I am quite wise enough to know that being the mother of a 17 month-old is merely the beginning, and yes, I do realize I don’t even know the half of it. However, I began this life-long journey of mine at the very tender, very naive age of nineteen. Was I mentally unstable? Probably. Was I intoxicated? Actually, no. Did I have any idea what those spontaneous, carefree nights of adolescent immaturity would produce? Oh no. But, believe me; I quickly began to realize in the months that followed- pregnancy was not for the faint-hearted, nor for the sane.
Yet, it was only at this point when I began to catch a tiny glimpse of what my mother endured for my sake. My dear God, I thought to myself, “Did she seriously go through this hell to bring me in this world?” It was then I began to realize, as I am continuing to; that every day, with each new stage my son goes through, I am being given the gift of viewing my mother in this new, awe-inspiring light. And then at these moments the words that so many, including my own parents have spoken echo through my head, “You’ll only understand when you have a child of your own.”
But it is also at these moments of reflection, I fight back the tears that inevitably spill from my eyes as I begin to truly see the things I have put my mother through. All of the emotions she must have felt, to have to sit back and painfully watch me make my own mistakes. To be forced to sit, in a front row seat, and see me fall so hard and not be able to do a thing about it; except for love me, and perhaps cry out from the pain in her heart, caused by my careless actions.
The thought that I someday must endure this inexplicable pain, makes my heart catch in my throat. Oh, the things I’ve put my parents through. Unaware, because I wasn’t yet a mother myself, that everything I did, deeply affected the individuals who God, Himself allowed to assist in the process of my creation. That fact is so powerful, it makes me take a step back, convicting me to the core.
However, I am tired of brushing the tears from my face, so I will continue to a more humorous aspect of parenting. I will say that motherhood has brought every single …